What is the best way to move forward with my spouse visa?

[Westie Stretchington]

Hi all!

I am an Australian native married to a US citizen and I am just about ready to get the ball rolling on our spouse visa application so we can be together in the USA.

A little backstory...
We got married in Thailand in March '14 while we were travelling together.
I have been entering the USA on an ESTA relatively regularly (3 times since Aug '12) to holiday and most recently to help my wife settle the estate of her mother who passed a couple of weeks after our marriage
Understandably the immigration officials are asking the hard questions when I arrive by now.
I have been able to enter this last time with the death certificate/marriage papers in order to help my wife and I am hoping it will work at least one more time when I plan to return in late August to wrap up the estate which is a huge mess and very time consuming.
We are planning to file the i-130 once I have left the country in a few days time (unless someone convinces me it's a better idea to do it before then while I'm still here...)
I am unsure about what is the best way to get everything happening as quickly as possible without putting unnecessary risk into the equation.
Is it feasible/would it speed things up to try an i-485 when I'm in the country? If so does this need to be done at the same time as submitting the i-130?
At the moment I am planning to submit the i-130 asap and wait the year it takes to come through while continuing to visit on ESTA sporadically. Would this endanger my application? Will I be let in at all? I have legitimate reason to come and assist my wife due to a mentally ill family member and the death of her mother but I'm not sure if that will fly with the Immigration officials for too long.
I am definitely not planning on overstaying at any point in the process. I am willing to leave every 90 days for a while as we wait for the i-130 to do it's thing but how do I let the officials know that?

And advice, tales of your experience or suggestions would be hugely appreciated!

Thanks,
Andrew.

[peace999]

adjusting to green card from an ESTA visit (filing I-130 + I-485) via marriage is technically visa fraud. Especially when you are already married when entering as a visitor . That would mean you lied to the officers at Port of entry.
Though people do it ; and US immigration can make exceptions for spouses of US citizens, there is a definite risk with this.
As this is a major decision of a life time , it is better you adopt the safer route of waiting for your immigrant visa in Australia. That is after your wife files an I-130
in the US. About the timing of filing an I-130, she can do it after you enter on an ESTA. then you will have 90 days to spend before returning to australia.

During that waiting period, if you will be allowed in again on an ESTA is anybody's guess. Like you mentioned, you will have to convince the officers you will be returning after
visiting your wife.Maybe requesting a stay shorter than 90 days would help.