Desperate in need of help

[rust.puppet]

I will try to be as specific as I can and I am apologizing now for the length of this but I don't know where else to turn for answers.


My wife moved here in february of 2015 we married april 2015, she obtained her 2 year permanent resident card about 1 year ago give or take. We have both been unhappy in our marriage for quite some time but she has for lack of better words "blackmailed me" into staying in the relationship. At the time of signing the latest affidavit of support I was just shy of the monetary limit to single sign for her so my mother signed as a co sponsor. Since moving here she has verbally and physically abused me (with no evidence, shes good at hiding her personality) she treats me very unkindly, we rarely had sex or had a good functioning marriage, especially now in the last 6 months things have only gotten worse.

By the blackmail I mean that she says " you and your mother signed my affidavit of support so you have to support me for 10 years of me working no matter what or i can sue and take half of anything you two have" and things in the same vain. I personally have no house/car in my name so this wouldnt affect me besides if the government decided to garnish my wages or fine me some monetary value. But my mother owns her own house and cars and so I havent done anything to protect her without solid proof that it wouldnt affect her.

I want a way out, we're not in love, I'm sick of dealing with the mental abuse she puts me through. She has a job and has made friends through it who party drinking and smoking pot, she goes out without me partying all the time and I am never invited, she even leaves her rings at home conveniently every time. She has a serious spending addiction and helps with little to no bills for the household, she pays health insurance and her own car payment and insurance, before the last month of owning a car she didnt pay anything other than health insurance. while I pay for rent, food, internet/cable, utilities(included in rent) and all the other big ticket items. she feels I have to pay all these because of the affidavit of support and refuses to pay or help with any of them. Currently she has a closet full of shoes and clothes pouring out of it and 2 full dressers and probably about 8 pairs of shoes at the top of our stairs. most of the clothes still have tags on them and have for months.

We sleep in separate rooms and I have taken a very small side room and put a lock on the door to keep my computer, bed and a tv and anything i personally find important in because she gets easy very easily if i dont do the things she asks and smashes or throws away my belongings, the lock also serves for when we fight so that I can lock myself in for safety, shes kicked the door so much that theres a partial whole half way now so it wont hold up much longer.

She also belittles me and my family to every person she meets and I am completely drained and hopeless at this point I need any answer of what to do to get her deported or at the very least release me from the affidavit of support in any way possible. I know shes smoking **** but I don't know if theres any way to prove it and get her caught on that or if they'd even just force her to go to rehab or she could just cheat the system with **** pee or if it took long enough it would be out of her system. She even threatens to quit (purposefully get fired) from her job so that I will have to support her completely.

I'm tired of the constant fighting and locking myself in one room of my house, someone please help.

On a side note, she has the one year left i believe on her 2 year permanent resident card, do I legally HAVE to sign to renew it another 5 years or if i refuse can she be deported or is my affidavit no longer valid?

Sorry for the length I need any help I can get, I cant afford a lawyer yet but if anyone has a solid answer that does require a laywer I could save for one if it has a good enough result.

[newacct]

There are several separate issues here.

1) The marriage / divorce. Immigration status and that stuff shouldn't affect your marriage decisions. Just ask yourself, would a normal person in your situation married with someone like your wife who's a normal US citizen living here, decide to divorce, or try to work out the marriage. Then do that. Only you know whether your marriage situation merits divorce or not. Divorce is a matter of family law which varies by state. Consult a local family lawyer about the specifics.

2) Her immigration status. Her conditional permanent residency won't be directly affected by a divorce. You (obviously) have no obligation to jointly file Removal of Conditions with her. She can divorce and file ROC by herself based on divorce. Or maybe she won't file ROC and will stay illegally. But, in a sense, if you guys decide to divorce, whether she files ROC or not or stays or not isn't really your concern anymore. She may even file ROC by herself on the basis of abuse and lie and say you abused her. You can defend yourself from any such false claims if they come up.

3) The Affidavit of Support. The Affidavit of Support obligations that you and your mom signed do not end in divorce. They continue until she has become a citizen, has earned 40 Social Security credits, has lost permanent residency and left the US, or has died. Since it is signed, there is nothing that can be done about it. But you shouldn't really worry about not giving her support. Technically, she could sue you and/or your mom if her income isn't sufficient and you aren't supplementing her to the required level. However, she can only sue in federal court, which is very expensive, and usually not worth the expense to sue. It is extremely rare for immigrants to sue sponsors. She is bluffing. It's not a realistic threat. The only other way in which the Affidavit of Support can affect you and/or your mom is if she uses a government need-based benefit, and the local government sues you and/or your mom for reimbursement. However, no state pursues these (there have only been one or two reports of states considering this, and then abandoning it) because, again, it is too expensive to be worth it.

[rust.puppet]

There are several separate issues here.

1) The marriage / divorce. Immigration status and that stuff shouldn't affect your marriage decisions. Just ask yourself, would a normal person in your situation married with someone like your wife who's a normal US citizen living here, decide to divorce, or try to work out the marriage. Then do that. Only you know whether your marriage situation merits divorce or not. Divorce is a matter of family law which varies by state. Consult a local family lawyer about the specifics.

2) Her immigration status. Her conditional permanent residency won't be directly affected by a divorce. You (obviously) have no obligation to jointly file Removal of Conditions with her. She can divorce and file ROC by herself based on divorce. Or maybe she won't file ROC and will stay illegally. But, in a sense, if you guys decide to divorce, whether she files ROC or not or stays or not isn't really your concern anymore. She may even file ROC by herself on the basis of abuse and lie and say you abused her. You can defend yourself from any such false claims if they come up.

3) The Affidavit of Support. The Affidavit of Support obligations that you and your mom signed do not end in divorce. They continue until she has become a citizen, has earned 40 Social Security credits, has lost permanent residency and left the US, or has died. Since it is signed, there is nothing that can be done about it. But you shouldn't really worry about not giving her support. Technically, she could sue you and/or your mom if her income isn't sufficient and you aren't supplementing her to the required level. However, she can only sue in federal court, which is very expensive, and usually not worth the expense to sue. It is extremely rare for immigrants to sue sponsors. She is bluffing. It's not a realistic threat. The only other way in which the Affidavit of Support can affect you and/or your mom is if she uses a government need-based benefit, and the local government sues you and/or your mom for reimbursement. However, no state pursues these (there have only been one or two reports of states considering this, and then abandoning it) because, again, it is too expensive to be worth it.

thank you for the educated post, honestly this lightened my worries quite a bit, I have mentioned divorce but she is refusing signing papers. which i know is more of a family issue not immigration so I will have to look for a work-around for that. on top of how to get her out of my house without any legal issues, i would personally prefer her to agree and have a cheap disillusion but I'm sure that it wont be that simple if she wont sign. thank you for your response I only went into detail in hope of a work-around for the severity of my case but you did make it easier to just go for it and hope no bad luck befalls me on the road ahead.

[rust.puppet]

can a moderator please delete this thread

[samlynn]

divorce

In most states it doesn't matter if she signs the papers or not. You file for divorce and have her served with papers. there are always ways to get it done even if she doesn't agree.