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My Ordeal:Petition for waiving joint Removal of Cond on GC!

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  • My Ordeal:Petition for waiving joint Removal of Cond on GC!

    Hi Everyone,

    I started my online relationship with my wife 4 years ago.At first I did not take it serious but over the period of 2 years of intense phone/e mail communication it blossomed into a beautiful and extraordinary love affairs(at least thats what I thought then!) .My wife came to my country, met my family, we got married and I was issued the immigrant visa.Now I am a foreign national/conditional greencard holder.

    The nature of the relationship prompted me to ask many questions, realizing that I was going to a foreign land,I made it clear on a number of occassions that I am a very peaceful man and I understand that marriages are prone to problems but I would appreciate if she would assure me that we are going to treat each other with the utmost of respect and mutual love.

    She also wanted to know a lot of things, she asked me if I was a check to check guy or loaded .I was honest enough to say that although my family is well off,I live check to check since in our culture a young man has to show his independence as much as possible, and if a problem arises the family is always there.

    To make a long story short, when I got here (US) I was received rather well with her family,children and the few friends she had.I was fortunate to finalise my paperwork in a few weeks and gain employment.After a few months she started acting in a very bossy behavior,whenever I suggested something it became "interfering" with her lifestyle, I noticed that she was an impulsive shopper,so I took the spousal responsibility of suggesting that we either come up with a budget before going shopping, or a ceiling figure to spend, apparently she felt I was interfering.

    I said OK, maybe this is an adjustment period, we are coming from different cultures and she has stayed on her own for some time after divorcing her first husband, maybe she need to adjust to the idea of being married and reaching for consensus once again,so I adopted a more relaxed attitude, thinking that in time we are both going to "sync", she did not take too well to that, saying that I was not active and aggressive enough and wasnt participating much.I said OK, I tried my best to please my wife and be a stepfather to my stepchildren,One day after getting a rather high phone bill, due to her excessive usage,I told her that maybe we should change our phone plan to one of those flat rate services, she did not want any of it,it seemed like she had a problem with anything that was my suggestion.Meanwhile the bossy behavior was increasing,I was called derogatory names, belittled, mentally abused and practically made to be on my toes at all times.She was even acting like that openly with her friends, belittling me like that in my presence in front of her friends.One of her friends even had the nerve to tell me "I see you know how to put on nice pants these days" as if I was going naked before, to her dissapointment, the pants she was talking about happenned to be a pair of khakis that I came with from my country,I told her so, she didnt even have the womanly grace of apologizing!

    Now ,after 19 months of living together , several tries at saving our marriage through church elders,and just 2 month short of removing the conditionality, she went to one of her friends, who herself confess of being a **** and let her talk her into divorcing me citing the reason that I only married her to get the green card.

    Coming to another country was a great adjustment for me,the abuse I faced was more than bearable but since it was mostly verbal/mental and I always had the outlook of working things out rather than evidencing her behavior I have little evidence,the day she presented the "no contest" divorce affidavit for me to sign I tried to resist, saying that maybe we should spend some time trying to work things out, even if by staying apart for a while, she threatened my whole being by saying that she could make all types of stories about me, even saying that I molested her kids and that she would make sure that I was going to be deported in a flash.

    I made greta friends here,I spent the most productive part of my career here,I even postponed my original plans to go to college for further education because of her, and now I am faced with a bleak future with a lot of immigration regulations, to make matters worse, she specified that I gave her half of my check in cash every pay period, we lived in a place that was rented by somebody else so no documents of rent because we paid cash,she did not want to file jointly for tax returns I guess because she was so selfish and wanted to get her money alone even if it meant we could have gotten more together so now I have little evidence of living with her apart from my bank,my few subscription services and my employer.

    I feel that dealing with the divorce is painful enough, my society back home stigmatise failure in marriages, especially such as those of my nature. At the same time I do not know my predicament with immigration services here because I hear they just want to reduce the backlog as fast as possible so if a case is not with top notch documentation they will simply deny it,I have already been rejected and denied enough, my only wish is to be allowed to be able to find my life here and maybe I will find somebody who will appreciate me and will know to respond to being loved.I am thinking of getting letters of affidavit from all of our church friends,bible study techers and church elders who knew very well of our marriage (some of them even counselled us through our problems) and other documentation such as the photos we took in my country and the photos we took while my father came here to visit and some other documents.I know I definitely need to see an immigration lawyer, I am jsut reaching out for help and ideas, ahs anyone else gone through an ordeal as mine? What are the chances that I will be allowed to start over again and put this horrible experience behind me?

    NB: Now that I have signed her "no contest" divorce affidavit, my wife, soon to be ex wife, is very cordial and we maintain a very civilised line of communication.

    Please advice [email protected]

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