EAD (WorkPermit)

Hello

I have a pending EAD application with USCIS

so the case has been pending for a while .. i created a service request thinking that it would "expedite" the case .. turned out its just an inquiry about the status of the case and they emailed me a computer generated email that the case needed additional processing and its with an officer (which is something i already know given that they received the case a while back)

so then i started to seek my other options which was to contact the service center through their email and received the same BS about the case being processed and that i should wait so then i called USCIS customer service and asked for another service request and the lady on the phone said that the system won't allow her to do it and she doenst know why (probably because i already requested one a couple of days back) so she asked me to call next Monday and try again but we all know how that will go .. then i called the office of my congressman and the lady on the phone said that i need to sign a release form giving them permission to contact USCIS about the case and that this will allow them to inquire about the case (Again just a basic inquiry which will probably result in USCIS telling them that its being processed and to wait a little more) which is just another waste of time and effort and many people on the internet said that after contacting their congressman or senator the office of the senator just told them the status of the case and that it needs more time instead of actually making USCIS process it right away

so other than the fact that you have a financial crises or a HUGE PROBLEM that will require mailing additional paperwork and evidence to actually get your case processed right away,
is there any freakin something that can make USCIS ACTUALLY process the case and not just tell me the status of my case (which i already know is BEING PROCESSED)

thanks