Family Based Greencard

Where to Start??got married in april 2001,sent papers to INS Charlotte July 2001, received EAD oct 2001, then started the nightmare. In july 2002 just pay a visit to INS office just to check on my case.imagine my surprise to hear that my case was denied June 2002. Why? did not show up for interview (really). Officer pullout my file and showed me 3 letters (interview and denial notices) returned to them for wrong address..funny since I never moved.Show prove of current address as well as filling address in file. Office realize They were wrong, but still they had me pay $110 for motion to reopen. Nov 2002 still no decision on motion; had to move to Alabama for school in Dec 2002. Went to congressman in Alabama february 2003 to find out about case..learned that file moved to Atlanta since address changed (what a mistake..ATL my nightmare continues). Congressman push and finally received a letter for interview in Sept 2003..get there, just five minutes questions..then officer said can't find my birth certificate anymore (whaooo..just like that)and need new lease documents..does not want to look at pictures..ok then. Officer wrote in my passport "Interview on I485 A#..., IR6. Adjustement applicant" and her name..she gave me a yellow envellope with the word "continued A# ".
INS ATLANTA received the additional papers they ask for OCT 23, 2003. After that it was complete silence until I decided to go to them in August 2004..At that time they send me to the ON DUTY immigration officer who openned the letter that I send last Oct 2003 while I was there (after almost a year), brieffly look at it and said He did not handle my case and does not have time to go through it (yep)..he stepped out, came back and told me that the lady who interviewed me said that she will send my birth certificate to a forensic lab for verification..I was in such a disbelieve that I almost cry. I quickly went back over my life in the US (Enginnering school, marriage,Graduation, work) and I could not understand..Where did I go wrong to deserve all these..I have worked so hard and continue to do so since I came here, that I tough that will count for something. Instead I felt like I'm being treated like a criminal when I though I deserved maybe a small chance to better my life.
we are Oct 27, 2004 and I have give up on the becoming a permanent resident. I had put a hold on buying a house and that has impacted my marriage. But my understanding is that I may have to leave with my family, but my wife won't considere that as an option. May God help us.