Help needed plsss

[lifedisapponts]

Hi here is my story ..
I came to US around 2004 on H1B along with my wife (H4) we have been having small minor disagreements at all times which i guess is normal for any couple in a relation i am more kind of conservative side not meaning that not being modern but open minded to the limits of society and indian culture when i moved here we were married for almost 2 and 1/2 years which is a good time (in normal case) to know each other and get along now since we got married we have had normal sex life (its improtant for me to mention this not tryign to be vulgar sorry if sounds that way) initial 2 years in US were kind of good we were having our own good life slowly slowly problem started when my inlaws would call i prefer to stay out of their conversation ( i feel that my wife shoudl have that privacy of talking with her parents without any hinderance ) so i normally walk out or go out for groceries,..but then she wanted me to stay there in during the conversation which i could not uderstand why ...?
Then a couple of years ago my mother in law visited us and at that time i had lost my job and was looking for another during her visit she interfered in all my matters right from dictating who my parents should have relations with to my personal matters till a point where i cldnt even talk to my wife or my kid..tht is when i said thti s enough and to my shock all this time my wife kept mum not even uttering a sigle word askign her mom to keep to the limits...i was ridiculed in every occasion ..infact i payed for my wifes tution with all my savings and took some personal loan spent almost 20000..helped her with her assingements...took care of my kid...did the household chores...so that it would not effect her studies ...but finally one day under her mom's influence she quit her education after almost a year ...and blaming me as to forcing her to study ...(yeah as if i had that extra cash dancing in my pocket!!!) anyways then she used to pick a fight for some or the other reason with me i kep my cool until the time when they made my days so horrible that i avoided stayign at my home i stayed in a mtel for almost 2 weeks till my mother in law left ...after that i got a job started working hard keeping in mind all the words that i was told saying that i had to sell my belongings during my unemployement and all the crap...so i focused on my career and kept on working as demanded...after 3 months my wife decided that she wanted to go back to India i tried to explain her that wait for few months and lets settle the way that we were before and then u can go ...but still she picked up a fight and left for India with my kid ...its been over 2 years and we barely talk when ever i call her she says she cannot hear the the signal isnt good ..all excuses so i stopped calling her ..After a while one of my friend found a video clip of her having sex with 2 other guys ...i was devastated ...after knowing tht fact too i tried my best to convince her to talk to me but she would not ...after 2 and 1/2 years away i think i cannot wait for this person anymore i think i want to move on with my life ...looking into this scenario can some one suggest me a way to get divorce ...We were married in India as per hindu marriage act..I know that people might think how dumb cld u be to believe what you friend says about your wife ...but i did not believe him until a couple of incedence did happen in al life and after i saw those clips ...i am urging some one from the firm to please help me ....its been a nightmare i get nighmares sometime about those horrifying incidents and mental agonies that i have been through ..they are filthy rich and my tension is about my kids and my parents safety back home ....i am ready to undergo any difficulties but i do not want them to suffer for any of these stuff ....plss any enlighten person here can guide me ...i would really appriciate it ...pls email me the response ...If any females are reading this my advice is marry the person who you prefer and try to understand your partner that is the best way you can have a happy life..dont make your life and other person involved life's miserable and a laughing stock for all others...
and Do not make marriage a Joke....just beacuse of gender it not that things dont happen...they happen to anyone and everyone immaterial of gender..and financial status...
Thank you .
Be safe and god bless you all

[orion]

KNOW UR Value....!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.





In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you
but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and
started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all
crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not
decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as
though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose
your value.

You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

" VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED"

[lifedisapponts]

Hi

Hi ,
Thank you for atleast trying to understand my situation...i never dreamt my life could take such a drastic turn and i wold have such bitter human personal relations...i guess his is what we call life but i really want to get out of this in a positive way having minimum damage ..not sure where to look for ...would appriciate if you or someone you know can help me move towards that direction...i did not tell the stuff to gain sympathy of anykind but looking for a solution to this problem which i guess i cannot figure out ..
I am sure there would be people like me out in midst of immigration issue and then marital issue's too ...
God Bless You

[txh1b]

You probably can get a divorce easily in India if you can prove infidelity. If everything you said is true, if I were in your shoes, I would not have even waited this long.

[lifedisapponts]

hi

Hi ,
I am in midst of my immigration so there are chances that it ight get disturbed..and also feel a sense of if i go back to India they (in laws) might get me involved fictious legal issue i want a legal cover up so that i can visit back home take care of this and as well get my kid back here...which i am not sure even as my kid's visa has expired over a year and half now and my kid is visiting India on US passport ...any and all suggestions are welcomed.

[txh1b]

You need to get legal professionals involved. If your kid is a USC, the mom cannot take the kid away without your permission. It could constitute kidnapping.

You will have a lengthy custody battle to fight for the kid in India. Talk to a family lawyer in US as well as in India.

Refer to this thread for some info about things you need to beware of.

http://www.immihelp.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22523

If you have proof and no abuse/dowry was involved, why are you worried about fictitious case in India against your parents and you? I have heard of some people pulling it off but proof is what the court wants.

[lifedisapponts]

hi

Hi ,
I understand that and the main problem is my inlaws are super rich and one of the things that my mother in law had warned me during her visit is if she wishes she would destroy me and my family ....it was a smoother threat so before i visit back home i want to find out the pro's and con's of every step and i am nsot sure if you are aware of the indian judicial system but most of such cases if you have money to bribe the guys you get law towards your side...i hope you understand where i am coming from ..and another thing i was and am always against dowry and since my inlaws interference in our financial matters started back home i decided to move to a bit far off place where it would be difficult for them to interfere..and yes i did try marriage counselling too which only i atteneded 80% of sessions and my wife would make an excuse almost all time...so i have tried that option too ...
Regards

[Subramanya]

I understand that and the main problem is my inlaws are super rich and one of the things that my mother in law had warned me during her visit is if she wishes she would destroy me and my family ....it was a smoother threat so before i visit back home i want to find out the pro's and con's of every step and i am nsot sure if you are aware of the indian judicial system but most of such cases if you have money to bribe the guys you get law towards your side...i hope you understand where i am coming from ..and another thing i was and am always against dowry and since my inlaws interference in our financial matters started back home i decided to move to a bit far off place where it would be difficult for them to interfere..and yes i did try marriage counselling too which only i atteneded 80% of sessions and my wife would make an excuse almost all time...so i have tried that option too ...


---- Nothing is too late in life. Start taking care now. As we read your In-laws are rich enough to bribe the legal wrangles, beware that they can file a 498A cae in India and the moment you land you can be taken into custody. This has happened to many people. The only way to know if they have filed a 498A case against you is by tapping the local police station in the area where your in-laws and wife reside. If you have friends in India, you can try that

---- If you are honest, truthful and all that, law will help you. But as you know in India it can take ages before justice is meted out to you

---- The other option is file a divorce petition in the US, the legal system will wait for the other party to respond and if they fail to turn up, they grant divorce, based on verifiable evidence on Hindu laws and marriage act. For this, you may need to speak to an experienced and knowledgeable attorney who is conversant with immigration matters and marriage laws

---- If you are in the process of a GC and may be it will take time to clear the process based on your PD, wait in the US and go through the above process and do not go to India until you get your GC (This is in the event if you can do it)

---- Also remember, that your in-laws can implicate your parents in the 498A case, but lack of immediate evidence will prevent the legal authorities to take action. Just keep in touch with your parents and may be ask them to seek an anticipatory bail anticipating this case (this should be done after you have thoroughly researched all the facts and if you apprehend that they will file this 498A case)

--- As far as your kid is concerned, he/she seems to be a US citizen, then when you are filing the divorce case in the US, seek the custody of your child as a US citizen

---- The undersigned is a victim of one these cases and it took a bit of struggle to wriggle out of the mess, but nevertheless, it was worth it. We help out all such victims who are truly stuck

---- For further guidance let us know through the forum of what help we can be for you

Keep your spirits high

Subramanya